5 LITTLE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO REMIND YOUR MAN THAT YOU LOVE HIM

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Hey guys! I just wanted to get a quick post up tonight in celebration of the holiday of love! Or chocolate if you're into binge eating that kind of thing. Believe it or not (and I've said this in a few other previous blog posts) but I am not the worlds biggest fan of cliche events/holidays. I have no idea why that is but for some reason they just aren't my thing, and Valentines Day has always fallen into that category. I think a lot of that has to do with my birthday being two days prior but either way, I much rather sit at home snuggled up with McHandsome than be jam packed into a restaurant full of a bunch of other couples who really rather be home binge watching Netflix.

So as you guessed it, Hubs and I (okay mainly myself because he's really down for anything) decided it was going to be a relaxing night with some italian takeout! Throughout the day as we were on our 8th random "I Miss You" phone call of the day, I started thinking about all the little things we both do for each other to make sure the other person always knows they're loved. I decided to write a post with 5 little things I always do that leaves a smile on my husbands face!


I cannot tell you how many little love notes I've left for my husband, however he can. He has saved every single one, and has about 5 in his wallet alone! It may seem like such a simple child like thing to do, but who doesn't feel all warm and fuzzy inside when they see someone telling them how cool they think they are?

I roll deep with doing this. Whenever I go out to get one thing, I can tell you that almost 95% of the time I will come back with something for my man, even if he says he doesn't want anything. 4% of the time I will not come back with a surprise is because he already has it and 1% is if the store doesn't have it. Hubs LOVES energy drinks, so I like to come back with one for him and have it in the fridge so later when he gets up he's like "Where the hell did this come from?!" while I'm just sitting back like, yes. I know I rock.

Waking up sucks. Doesn't matter if you slept in until noon or if it's 6:00am. It still sucks. Help your significant others morning start off less crappy. Plus if he didn't find the drink you hid in there from the night before... bonus points.

Men have this weird tunnel vision with video games. I will NEVER understand it and I have at least one "Dude, give me attention" moment a week but every once in a while... I just let it happen. This past Saturday Andrew thought it would be a wonderful idea to stay up ALL NIGHT playing Xbox. All night. Well, Sunday was my birthday which meant that he was going to have to stay up all day too because you kinda cant sleep until 5pm when it's your wifes birthday. I knew once 3am rolled around that he was gonna hate himself the next day but he was happy. He was in the zone. His friends were online. He was enjoying life. That's what mattered. That stupid little smile when he drifts just right on Forza is what mattered. Did he end up exhausted and hating himself by 4pm the next day? Yes, yes he did.

You know when your man randomly walks up and kisses you on the forehead and your heart melts into a million gooey pieces? Yeah, guys do that too. I'm sure they wont describe it that way but they do love it. Take the time to randomly show some affection. I like to walk up behind McHandsome while he's in his xbox twilight zone and just wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. It never fails. It doesn't matter what he's doing in his game, he will stop for a second and give me a huge smile and then a huge kiss. Not just does it make someone feel extra loved but it also reminds them that you are their person and why they love that you are their person.

5 LIFE CHANGING BOOKS EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ

I have re-written this opening sentence 15 times. Seriously, 15 times. I have tried to flip words around to sound sweet and relatable but for this post I am going to have to be blunt. Our generation is fifty shades of screwed up right now.  We spend more time with our faces buried into our phone reading Buzzfeed articles instead of reading anything that is going to benefit us. Have you noticed how our depression and anxiety rates have freakin' skyrocketed? I blame social media. Please dont get me wrong social media has its amazing benefits and trust me when I say I love scrolling through Reddit, but goodness gracious does it has its faults too. We have all found ourselves lurking deep on someone elses page admiring every little aspect of their lives, and by doing so we en up judging and tearing apart every aspect of our own.

"Why can't I look like that? I need to lose weight."

"How do they afford so many vacations? I never go on vacations."

"I wish I had such luxurious things! I need to afford nice things for people to accept me." 

The millennial generation is caught up in comparing our version of real life to someone else's controlled online content, and we are suffering because of it.

I have been bit with the depression and anxiety bug for a very long time. I have spent countless hours in doctors offices, therapists chair, been on multiple medications, and even had multiple hospital visits under my belt. Thankfully about a year and a half ago I was introduced to Personal Development and within the first month of actively putting an effort into it I had more results than I did with any medication ever prescribed, or any amount of time spent with a therapist.

When people hear personal development they immediately think self books that are so boring that it takes 5 minutes to get through one page without falling asleep. I was thankfully surprised to find out that was not the case at all, and that there is actually a genre of personal development that is meant to be the complete opposite of that.  I promise you all it takes is 15 minutes a day or even 10 pages a day and you will start to see a drastic change in your life. You first have to understand that this is not going to be an overnight change because nothing dramatic happens overnight, expect you putting a dent into your Netflix watchlist. Yes, you may totally read one chapter and feel like you can go out and find the cure for AIDS, but if you do not continuously put time into it every single day you will fall back into the same dark hole you were in before. This whole thing is about taking the time to not just work on yourself, but help you understand why you are the way you are, and how you can improve yourself as well as every aspect of your life.

It has been a life changing experience for me and I know it can be a life changing experience for anyone who gives it a chance.  So to make your life a little easier, here is a list of 5 personal development books that kicked me right in the ass where I needed to be kicked, caused me to be excited to flip the page, and change my life.

I have never read a book that has smacked me in the face like this one did. Jen Sincero writes this as if she is your best friend telling you it is time to get your ass in gear. She has no fear in how she writes so do not be surprised that "fuck" is a commonly used work in this book. You Are A Badass represents everything I seek for in a personal development book. Whether you are a male/female, this book will definitely speak to you and keep you laughing along the way. Since reading this I can honestly say no other book compares to how hilariously badass this book is, and I cannot wait until the next one comes out.

So I am totally going to admit here that I did not read Eat, Pray, Love but I did see the movie and it was damn good. This book is written by the same author of Eat, Pray, Love and holy crap is it good. Unlike other personal development books, this one focuses more on creativity and what that means to you. Honestly reading Big Magic is a major reason on why this website exists. You are given beautiful and wonderful gifts in your life, even gifts that you may not understand how to use them, or even notice if they are there. Big Magic help you take a step back and see how wonderfully creative the universe made you to be.

Unless you have been living under a rock you have probably seen or at least heard of the movie The Secret. Let me introduce you to The Secrets little sister The Magic. This book is a 28 day guide that involved tiny little tweeks to your daily routine which if done properly will result in drastic positive changes to your life. Yes, I know that sounds like mumbojumbo but the science behind it is pretty solid. Think positive, positive things will happen. Think negative, and well you can guess what will happen. The Magic helps you fully grasp and use the law of attraction to your advantage.

I can pretty much guarantee you that every extremely successful person has read this book at least once, if not multiple times. Let me clarify here, by everyone I mean everyone. This book is a classic in the terms of Personal Development world, and probably the most recommended book of all time. Most personal development books focus a lot on the law of attraction and this one goes very deep into it. At the beginning you will get a step by step guide on writing your mission statement and goals, and then you will learn the ways to achieve these goals as well as everything you want and desire in life.

How To Win Friends And Influence People is right up there with Thick And Grow Rich when it comes to the top personal development books of all time. I really wish I could rename this book to "If You Have Ever Wondered Why People Act The Way They Act And Why Do You React The Way You Do, READ THIS" but I think that would be way too long of a title. Seriously though, that's exactly what this book explains. You will learn about different personality traits and what causes people to be the way they are, and once you understand that you will then be able to learn how to communicate best with them.

5 TIPS ON HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

So I have been married for like 3 seconds,  so I in no way qualify myself as an expert on the whole marital  subject. However over the last 7 months I have spent as a Mrs.Fleming I have experienced more happiness in a relationship than I have since my stupidness got my first real boyfriend when I was 15.

Oh, how I wish I could slap the living crap out of 15 year old me.

Anyway, lets flash forward to the unicorns and rainbows portion of my life, shall we? Almost immediately after meeting the man that was soon to be my husband, I could feel an entirely different energy about us compared to all the idiots decided to be with prior to G.I Joe.

The vibe was different. The laughs were different. The connection was different.

But most importantly (which will lead us into our first little tip) the RESPECT was different.

Did I forget to mention that I got married in front of the most cliche and horrible beach mural in all existence, AND my bra broke mid ceremony? It's okay though, clearly we did not care.

Did I forget to mention that I got married in front of the most cliche and horrible beach mural in all existence, AND my bra broke mid ceremony? It's okay though, clearly we did not care.

I know saying "oh respect your partner" sounds like I just ripped a page out of the most boring and basic self help book ever, but y'all it is THAT easy. I have said since day one of our glorious adventure together that I fully, truly, and whole heatedly believe if neither of us had been through the waves of epic crap that we both had been through separately, then we would not fully appreciate the pure awesomeness we are currently able to gift each other together. Yes, GIFTING each other. You being a decent human being and respecting your significant other is equivalent to giving them the most bomb ass gift you can.

Now, I can promise you my husband will read that paragraph above and start laughing his ass off, or look over at me with a "you've got to be kidding me" look because let's be real, out of the two of us I am the one with an epic attitude problem some times. Which leads us into tip number 2. 

Here we spot a man branching out into the world for the first time in ages with the beginning stages of "epic beard syndrome".

Here we spot a man branching out into the world for the first time in ages with the beginning stages of "epic beard syndrome".

Drake, I get that you're super into your feelings and emotional and all but saying "a little attitude problem, it'll make shit last" is extremely wrong. Respectfully of course Sir Drake. Listen, I am already writing this feeling like I have the word hypocrite tattooed on my forehead because when it comes to my relationship, I am most defiantly the asshole of the two. Blame it on PMS, past experiences, or just being a women, I get mad caught up into my emotions sometimes. I play the "me, me, me" card way too often sometimes instead of doing the rightful thing and stepping back and looking at the big picture as an US instead of a ME. 

No matter how perfect and fairy tale your relationship may seem, you will have moments where you want to rip your significant others head off. It will happen. No matter what. It. Will. Happen. Anyone who wants to tell you it doesn't and it wont, is delusional and should genuinely get their brain checked out to make sure they're actually in this reality and not living in a la la land. I dreaded they day Andrew & I would have our first disagreement. Once it finally happened and I was in the moment of going full fledged white girl physco, I stopped seeing the bigger picture and only saw my stupid petty feelings (FYI, this argument was over Xbox). As humans we get way too caught up in our own feelings. Even if we want to say we are thinking of something as if you were in their shoes, your lying to yourself. You are thinking of how YOU would react if you are in their shoes, not how THEY reacted in THEIR own shoes. 

 Plain and simple, if someone says you've hurt them , you did. No argument. You were an asshole. You have no right to tell them they are wrong about how they feel.  

Whether it is a big deal argument or something as stupid as Xbox, put your damn ego down. Don't get so caught up in emotions. It is so much better to be experiencing the fun, beautiful, and happy moments with your significant other than sitting on opposite sides of the bed playing the "I'm pretending to ignore you when in reality I just want you to wrap your big stupid arms around me and give me the biggest bear hug known to man kind and show you this funny meme" game.

It's all about picking what is wroth getting upset over and whats not.

Which leads us into tip 3.

After a long nigh of playing RuneScape (yes, my husband STILL plays RuneScape) McHandsome is McPassedOut.

After a long nigh of playing RuneScape (yes, my husband STILL plays RuneScape) McHandsome is McPassedOut.

I can hear my mother shouting from the rooftops "I TOLD YOU SO! I FREAKIN' TOLD YOU KATELYN! YAS. SHE FINALLY LISTENED. MY STUBBORN ASS CHILD RETAINED AT LEAST ONE THING I HAVE SAID OVER 25 YEARS! "  So yes Mom, you we're right.

Now she used to say this in relation to the stupid shit I did as a teenager, but I have been able to now adapt this to adult life. This one is really easy. If you're about to begin a conversation and whatever you are about to say is either A) stupid B) going to cause drama or C) screams "Hi, I'm in the mood to be an asshole today", CEASE AND DESIST NOW. Stop while you are ahead. This one really falls directly line with Tip 2 because you can prevent coming off as a raging hormonal asshole if you just step back, and pick your battles.

I will totally admit, this is way easier said than done, especially if you are verbally impulsive like I am. This tip definitely takes works and can also take time, but this can  prevent any unnecessary arguments form occurring, like ever.

I'm gonna give Andrew major kudos here. That man is THE KING at picking battles. I fully believe he needs to add "Shows exceptionally strong skills on picking battles department of life" because he is THAT good. It doesn't matter what the situation is, how mad I am, or how bitchy I am being, he will remains calm as possible the entire time and just agrees with whatever horse shit I am yelling out. He knows the bigger picture IS more important. If he decides turning the Xbox off after he's playing for 12 hours straight (yes, this is a thing) is going to bring me happiness, he will do it. Battle picked. War prevented. If the next time he plays Xbox I respect his play time because I know he loves it, battle picked and another war prevented.  It's all about picking what's worth getting worked up over and what isn't. 

Sometimes, actually most times the fight isn't worth the fight. It just isn't. Unless someone really 50 shades of fucked up, it isn't worth the drama, the tears, and unneeded Italian like hand gestures. 

And MOST of the times, one making the decision to do one little yet major thing can help you keep yourself out of a situation where you need to pick whether the battle is worth it or not.

Flash forward to Tip 4.

Sacrifices such as letting your husband grow out a raggedy scratchy beard (even though its full and epic) even though you're not a fan of "Man Beard" that has taken over 2016. Granted I should be thankful he hasn't jumped on that basic dude haircut bandwagon.

Sacrifices such as letting your husband grow out a raggedy scratchy beard (even though its full and epic) even though you're not a fan of "Man Beard" that has taken over 2016. Granted I should be thankful he hasn't jumped on that basic dude haircut bandwagon.

I think some people fear marriage and commitment because of this one right here. People worry that once they are married that means they have to give up all the little things they once loved, and then share all the other things with another human. If that is a fear of yours, you are not with the right person. When you find your person, you want to share everything with them. Every experience. Every smile. Every adventure. Even every chip from Chipotle. Everything. That's how it works. That person is your best friend, so why wouldn't you want all of those things? But every once and a while something will come along that your significant other may want to do, or want you to do that leaves you like "uhhh, hell no".

What we have to learn is that even though whatever that thing is, whether its playing Xbox for 12 hours, letting your wife order multiple highlighter pallets even though you think highlighter pallets are stupid, or something as simple as trying black olives for the first time.

You. Just. Do It. Channel your inner Shia Labeouf and just do it.

Once again, a relationship is not just about you. It's about both of you. It's about building a life with your best friend and lasting forever. So if whatever that thing is that is going to make them happy. Just do it.

Nothing is more important than having fun with your significant other and....

I just want to clarify that we are in no way naked and that is not what I implied when I said "love is a verb". Ya Nasty.

I just want to clarify that we are in no way naked and that is not what I implied when I said "love is a verb". Ya Nasty.

John Mayer is a great lyricist but I think he sucks at relationships in real life. He's like the male Taylor Swift, which is appropriate because they dated but lets get back on track here. Johnny Boy wrote a song back in 2012 that, aside from me wishing it sounded better, was pretty awesome lyrically. Everything he says is right. Love is a verb. Love is an action word. It is something you have to actively do and actively work at every single day. When you commit to someone, you commit all of you. You commit the good, the bad, the laughing outbursts, the sick moments, the zit covered moments, all of it. It is YOUR job and YOUR responsibility to make sure that every day you are actively doing something to show your partner that you love and cherish them. Whether it as something as small as getting their lunch ready for them, showing up with flowers, or just an extra kiss in the morning, it all matters.

Too may relationships fail because people stop acting the way they did at the beginning when everything was butterflies and unicorns shitting out roses. The only thing that changes it someone or both people stop doing the little things. The little things are what matters the most. They're what make or break a situation.

If you haven't noticed yet, I HATE gaming systems. I hate them. I dont understand them and how someone can spend hours upon hours playing them, but I still make sure every payday I tell Andrew to go out and buy a new game or buy something for RuneScape. It's such a simple and little thing that puts him on top of the world because for that 30 seconds before he hits "purchase", he feels special again. Which he is. He is the most special human I've ever encountered and best of all he is my human.

You want to make your human feel like the most important human on the planet.

Because they are.

No matter what.

That one time I really wanted Starbucks and he kept telling me no... and we ended up going to Starbucks.

That one time I really wanted Starbucks and he kept telling me no... and we ended up going to Starbucks.